The Teachings Part 1

*to the background sound of sitar music and the scent fof incense in the air*


Greetings, my disciples.

As you are a reader of 3muhibah.blogspot.com, you have to follow or customs and traditions.

We accept all races, cultures, and beliefs (unless you're one of those New Age fanatics who hops around a plate five times before consuming a meal, or believe that sex is the ultimate salvation from eternal damnation. Begone with you, freak).

I, guru Petrina, shall now deliver your daily dose of teachings. Remember, obey our wise words of wisdom, and you shall never go wrong.


#1 Greet each other muhibahly.
- Hello. Selamat datang. Vanakam. Ni Hao. Aloha. Namaste. Jambo. Guten Tag. Hola.

#2 Sympathize and emphatize with others' misfortunes.
- I HAVE ONLY 3% EQUITY! FEEL SORRY FOR ME! *ahem*

#3 Break bread together
- The best way to bond is to share a meal together. Do not laugh at the way your fellow dining-mates eat. The Chinese use chopsticks because that is their culture, not because they want to see how many grains of rice they can pick up at one time with two twigs.

#4 Respect others' practices and attire
- The saree/sari is not something you use to play who-can-wrap-someone-up-like-a-mummy-the-fastest.

#5 Children of all races and cultures are giant rodents
- It doesn't matter if you eat with chopsticks or wear sarees or have 30% equity (grrrr), your kids are still annoying.

#6 Eat kangkung.
- If kangkung is spinach, then I have three words for you: Look at Popeye
- If kangkung isn't spinach, its still green and leafy and possibly good for you
- If you don't like kangkung, drape it along some wire and make it into a turban. (for more information, kindly refer to Marie Low)


Very well, my disciples.

This is all the wisdom I can impart today. May these teachings shed some light on your dark path to anti-muhibahism, and may you accept the truth and wisdom of our teachings and apply them in your daily lives.

My prayers are with you all.

If you need me, I am always here for you.

Travel across the Mojave desert, swim through the fountain of youth, sprint up the Hill of the Hilly-Billies, and slide down the All-for-one canyon.

I will be sitting on the rock beside the ten-foot cactus, my heart ready and willing to assist you in any way that is pleasing to my teachings.

Farewell, my faithful and loyal servants.


*background sitar music fades away*